what should i do for my birthday?

Sometimes I can get a little weird on my birthday. I don't have too much angst about getting older (although as far as the acting world is concerned, I'm a grandma at 32), but the years just go by so much faster. Wasn't I just turning 31 six weeks ago? I can still remember that hangover from too many hurricanes and pina coladas at Bar 169 like it was frigging yesterday. Getting older makes me feel like my time isn't quite my own anymore. Years start to feel like months, months start to feel like weeks, weeks feel like one long blur of appointments and obligatory meetings and a holiday and someone's birthday dinner and one more wedding and me oh my, you see how I can start to get a little weird around birthday time.

But my last few birthdays have been really lovely. These pictures were taken last year and they are some of my favorite photographs ever with some of my favorite people ever. Dumplings and frozen drinks in lower Manhattan.

 And then two years ago for my 30th birthday, I made everyone meet me at the Hideaway in Tribeca and everyone had to bring a gift that cost under $5 and we drank beer and ate fries tossed with Old Bay seasoning and there was cake. The bar windows were open and the breeze came in from the water and it was early evening and man, New York was fun that night. Lisa and I hauled my very large garbage bag of gifts to a beautiful dinner and then I fell asleep on her comfy couch and I'm pretty positive there was cake frosting in my hair and a french fry dangling from my mouth as I slept.

But what to do this year? I think probably something daytime again. Nothing too expensive, I don't want folks to have to spend a bunch of money. Pizza party lunch? Roller skating? I think I would definitely like my day to include a photo booth at some point. It's weird. Can I say it? I'm going to say it. Birthdays can be fun, but they can also feel a little weird and disorienting and sad. I think turning 32 and not having actual acting work and not having (gulp, I can't believe I'm writing this on the internet) a partner can make my days feel like a little like a "Sex and the City" episode. Or worse. A Cathy comic. Ack.

But my friends and my family are really super duper. And I don't say that like it's a consolation prize. They're really wonderful and make me feel loved and important and necessary and they laugh at my jokes, which is all you can ask for on your birthday.